2008 30 May

Great Galloping Goose!

Author: Shawn Categories: Shawniverse

It really was a beautiful day. I was living in Colorado and there was this wonderful park with swings and slides, a large lovely pond-lake with a little greenbelt wrapped around it, and an itty-bitty beach.

I would often go there in the wee hours and swing under the moon. This day, I had enjoyed a peaceful puttery walk around the pond-lake and had stopped at the beach to watch the flock of geese or swan, I never really knew for sure.

There were a gaggle of children feeding the geese while their parents watched. It was a bit noisy, but I just wasn’t ready to relinquish the peaceful puttering of my afternoon. I stood there watching the geese snapping up the goodies the children were tossing, listening the to water slap around on the sand and under wings and feet, relishing in the warmth of the sun on my arms and cheeks.

It really was just a wonderful day. But, I had other things to do, so sighing a deep, deep sigh, I turned to make my journey back home.

As I walked away, there suddenly was this squawking and wooshing sound. I turned around to see what was going on. A giant goose was pushing its way out of the water, flapping and screaming.

And coming straight for me.

I stood frozen for a few seconds, not understanding the situation at all. When the goose cleared the water, she picked up speed using her extremely large and impressive wings to hurl herself toward me.

Well, I wasn’t about to stick around, so I started walking very, very fast. The children were running to their adults and the adults had their mouths hanging open. As I ascended the small incline to the main path, that goose just kept getting faster.

She – and I’m just guessing it was a she, I didn’t stop to ask – was flapping and running and snapping and hissing and squawking and aiming at me like I was dinner.

OK, so what’s a girl to do? I just starting running as fast as I could.

That crazy goose chased me through the park. And she was right on my heels. I expected my butt to get literally goosed at any second. Other walking children and adults were jumping off the path with saucer eyes as my little parade wooshed by.

I’m a fast runner, but she had a definite advantage with her massive wings. And she wasn’t a little thing either. Her head reached my shoulders. I know because on one of my panicked glances backwards, I saw the inside of her hissing beak.

As soon as I hit the parking lot, she stopped. And so did I. Turning around, I just looked at her as my lungs gulped in the sun warmed air. We stared at each other and the gathering of people behind her stared at us.

Then she quacked at me, turned around, and started waddling back to the itty-bitty beach. Adults holding their children parted like the Red Sea as she went by.

I will never know what in heavens name I did to piss that gal off, but I have done my darnedest to never do it again. And I didn’t go swinging under the moon there any more. Too close to the itty-bitty beach.

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